Archive for knocked up

35w 5d

Posted in Incompetent Cervix, Pregnancy Symptoms, Pregnant with tags , , , , on November 29, 2012 by Me

Wow, did the Spawn eat my brain or what!? I had no idea that it had been so long since I updated! My Facebook gets the day-to-day stuff, and apparently I just totally forgot about putting a digest version over here 🙂

Everything is going great! Seth is huge– I expect that he’ll hit the 6 lb. mark at my next measurement appointment on Wed. I’m doing ok. The SPD has gotten progressively worse, but that’s to be expected when you have an ever-growing bowling ball lodged in your pelvis!

Wed 12/5 is going to be a big day– It’s finally time to Ditch the Stitch! Once the stitch is removed, birth is imminent. My OB thinks it will be within five days, and my high-risk doctor says it will be within 10-12 days. Either way, it’s going to be REALLY soon!  Wed will also be my next ultrasound to take measurements of the baby, as well as monitoring the baby.

At my last OB appointment, we learned that Seth’s head is resting directly on the cerclage, and that my cervix has already thinned. His head is literally about 3-4″ from my vaginal opening. The high-risk doctor expects me to dilate straight to 3cm when she takes the stitch out. Put these two things together, and you have the expectation of a VERY short labor. Basically, First Stage labor is the process of the baby moving down, and the cervix thinning out and dilating to 3cm, which will have all already happened before I even have my first contraction. My OB has suggested that I prepare for natural childbirth, since chances are we won’t have time for an epidural. When I started this whole process, I was expecting a mandatory c-section because of my size and my age, and now I’m looking at a natural, vaginal birth. Talk about going in reverse order, LOL!

The only problems so far in this last trimester have been with my blood pressure and HUGE amounts of swelling–I’ve started spiking higher BP readings, but not consistently, and all of my lab work has been perfect, so no one is really worried, but we are all being cautious. As for the swelling… wow! Starting around week 34, my feet started to stay swollen, even after being up for hours. And it’s not just my feet– everything below the waist is swollen (nothing like icing your nether regions, let me tell you!).

I’m going to stop and post this now. I will try to get the rest written up and posted in the next day or two 🙂


Yay Ultrasound!

Posted in Emotions, Pregnant with tags , , , , on May 31, 2012 by Me

Everything went super well! We got to hear the heartbeat and the little Spawn was wiggling all over the place. Everything looks right on track for the due date, which is awesome. Words can’t describe how it felt to see that little baby on the screen and hear its heartbeat.

I have an appointment set up with the Perinatal specialist for 6/12, since I am old and require extra supervision 😉

Still nauseous this week. And the heat kills me (which kind of sucks, living in Las Vegas, where it’s in the 100’s now and we don’t have A/C in the car…). I was a little crampy after the ultrasound (it was vaginal). I’m really looking forward to the second trimester, where maybe I’ll be able to cook again. Well, I can cook, but I don’t want anything to do with the food when I’m done, lol.

We made our announcement last night, and I’m handling the attention really well. I’m finally able to be happy about this. I’m so grateful that the early depression has passed! Mood-wise, as long as I keep my blood-sugar up it’s all good. I’m back down to my pre-preg weight, which they tell me is ok, since I started out 100+lbs overweight.

9 weeks 3 days!

Posted in Pregnant with tags , , on May 30, 2012 by Me

Tomorrow is my first ultrasound!! I’m so excited. I’m also nervous that something will be wrong… but I have no reason at all to think so, so I’m trying to stay positive.

More tomorrow (and pics!)


Posted in Pregnant with tags , , , on May 10, 2012 by Me

6 weeks today.

Things have really evened out emotionally– I still can’t even begin to comprehend that we’re going to have a baby, but I’m slowly becoming ok with the idea. I think that I’ll be more excited once I get to a doctor and know that everything is going to be ok.

Welfare has been a total nightmare. All WIC did was hand us the forms and send us on our way. It seems that every time we think we’ve gotten them everything they need, we get a letter telling us that they need another form filled out. The whole massage therapist thing has them completely befuddled, since I didn’t have a consistent hourly rate (and when you take what I made per massage and stretch it out over the dead time when I was just hanging out, it just confuses them even more). Since I’m not at the old salon anymore, I’m just going with unemployed– it seemed like the easiest thing to do, but they STILL want paperwork filled out by the asshat that I use to work for, so we’ll see how THAT goes. I didn’t really want to let them know that I’m pregnant, but apparently it’s EVERYBODY’s business if you need to go on welfare. Hopefully it will all be sorted out soon, so I can get to the damn doctor before my second trimester… I just feel like we are being looked at with suspicion because we are WHITE. I don’t much like that feeling, since we really need the help :-/

I’ve been doing about the same physically– I’m down a few pounds (yay!) and still having the intense cramping. According to friends I’ve talked to and sites I’ve been looking at, it’s pretty normal, and as long as there isn’t any blood, it should all be fine. One friend of mine said that the cramping was so bad that labor, by comparison, was “nothing”. I can totally believe it! There are times when I’m about >< this close to having S. take me to the hospital, but then it passes. They never last more than about 10-15 minutes, but it FEELS like forever.

Our two boy names: Seth Alexander and Sebastian Arthur.  Girl names are: Serra Anastasia and Sabrina Ariel.  Boy/Girl twins are Seth and Serra 🙂


Posted in Emotions, Pregnant with tags , , , on April 23, 2012 by Me

I am discovering that I am a very selfish anxious person, who likes things to be a particular way. Except in very specific circumstances, loss of control sparks all sorts of anxiety, and there is nothing that I like less than working without a plan in place. Over the last few days I’ve been dealing with bouts of inconsolable crying and even more upsetting, a strong urge to cut (don’t worry, I will NEVER act on it– this is just more of an intellectual observation). According to Dr. Google, at least 10% of pregnant women have depression, because of the influx of hormones to the brain. Awesome. Given all of the potential birth-defects with anti-depressants, I’m really not seeing that as an option. So, instead, I’m going to blog about it all here. Go me.

Things that are upsetting me:

  • I was mentally ready to lose weight, and have indeed been eating MUCH healthier for the last month. Now, I’m not suppose to lose weight. Add to this the fact that I just have next to no appetite, and you’ve got an awesome combination.
  • I had just rediscovered how relaxing a few drinks can be. I don’t relax easily– hell it’s hard for me to relax at all. And now, I don’t get to any more.
  • I don’t want to have to deal with a gazillion doctor appointments. I know for certain that I have at least two high-risk factors (age and weight), which means that I’m going to be watched like a hawk. I hate go to the doctor for anything. Yay.
  • I have no idea how to begin to go about applying for all of the various government assistance that we will need and are entitled to. This requires me to track down all sorts of papers to prove income and what not, and then figuring out what to do because I’m self-employed… more details. I hate details– they are upsetting and overwhelming.
  • I’m afraid that we’ll lose our friends. They are all much younger than us and may not want to spend their time with us once the baby is born.
  • I’m afraid that these feelings of sadness won’t go away, and that I’ll be a terrible mother. I’m selfish, demanding, impatient, and have exceedingly high expectations of everyone around me.
  • I don’t want to have to deal with processes of having to make physical changes around me
  • I don’t want to have to deal with everyone being happy for me. How weird is that? I feel like even more of a freak when others are happy and I’m sitting over here fighting off tears.
  • I feel guilty for having all of these negative feelings– I mean to actually get pregnant at my age and my size is a miracle in itself, right?

That’s all that I can think of for now. I’m hoping that I can get some of this crap out by writing it down here.  Here’s hoping the crazy passes quickly. And as a random side note– I’d still rather be crazy than have morning sickness…

And so it begins…

Posted in Emotions, Pregnant with tags , , , , , on April 20, 2012 by Me

It all starts here. Two little pink lines, and my world changes forever. Am I happy? Not sure. Shocked? Yes. Overwhelmed? Yes. Scared? Hell yes.

While we had not been not-trying, I think that we both had given up on the idea of actually getting pregnant. That’s how they say it goes– once you stop, is when it happens. The problem is, I’d mentally resigned myself to the “fact” that it wasn’t going to happen. Made my peace with it. Then it happened.

Tears were cried. Phone calls were made. And a numb-shock fell over me.